It’s time to have some fun. 50 Beers to 5000™ is a beer journey. A beer log (“b-log”), motivated by almost 15 years of tracking brewery, bar, and pub adventures using UNTAPPD… created for my enjoyment, a few laughs, and hopefully a future Netflix or Amazon Prime series. It would be bloody brilliant! Think about it. If Clarkson’s Farm can be renewed for a 5th season on Prime, the possibilities for 50 Beers to 5000… The Series, are endless. I’ve always been a dreamer. And, as a serial entrepreneur, I’ve been a doer. So, let’s do, a b-log. I need a challenge. This semi-retirement phase of life has been boring.

One very important note. This is about 5000 UNIQUE beers. The second time I imbibed a Spotted Cow from New Glarus Brewing Company, it didn’t count. The second (and third and fourth and fifth…) time I thoroughly enjoyed a Juicy Bits from WeldWerks Brewing Company, it didn’t count. So, now that we have the definitions out of the way, let’s have some fun with the journey to 5000 unique beers!

As you will see in other posts, my wife and I have just returned from the mother land of the United Kingdom, where we shot 14 or 15 videos to kick-off this silly little beer journey. Great Great Grandfather John Thomas (another JT!), from the South of England, would be proud.

UNTAPPD launched its app and user-generated content model in 2010. Perfect timing. It gave thousands of beer lovers, like myself, a tool to track and rate beers just as the local brewery market started to explode. And we tracked, and rated, and drank a lot of great beer since then.

Ratings, Ratings, Ratings

What can I say about ratings and people that rate? Let’s just skip right over that. In our case, there will be no hating. I will have fun and keep it entertaining. My ratings are typically between 3.0 and 4.25, on a 5-point UNTAPPD scale. Ratings across UNTAPPD are inconsistent. In effect, everyone sets their own rules, which is important to keep in mind when viewing your Friends ratings and UNTAPPD’s Everyone ratings (see the screenshots above). I’ve seen beer friends give a 5.0 to every beer at a brewery. And I’ve seen plenty of ugly ratings.

My ratings are high for the two beers, because I enjoyed them! That’s not a dominant pattern for me. Yes, I prefer to support all brewers, while also creating an objective rating I can use next time I’d like a cold one. My 3.0 rating (or lower) is generally a red flag to my future self saying, “don’t drink this again!” However, the brewery will almost certainly have other beers that are much tastier, so why kill their overall rating with hate? There’s no point. A 3.0 individual rating or any Friends rating below 3.25 is bad. That’s enough to tell the world to consider a different option.

On the high side of ratings, is there really a perfect 5.0 beer out there? Overall, the beer would have to be amazing, the planets would need to align, the weather would obviously need to be a mostly sunny 81.5 degrees with low humidity and a nice breeze, the beer would have to be poured from the cleanest lines in the world, there would most likely be good live music playing, and the brewery or venue would need some kind of wow factor. And then maybe it’s time for a 4.75. If you search through my entire UNTAPPD account and find a few 5.0 ratings from years ago, my apologies. That was before I saw the light.

One Bite. Everyone Knows the Rules.

Dave Portnoy of Barstool Sports is known worldwide for his cheese pizza ratings (mostly in the 7.0 to 9.0 range on a 10-point scale). Dave is not a hater and can get his point across in that range, with some outliers for special circumstances. He supports and invests in small business. And he is true to his “one bite, everyone knows the rules” system. Fun, well-designed, and well-executed.

I can only hope to be 5% as entertaining or popular as Portnoy, yet one must have goals. Perhaps I might find a pot of gold (or crypto) and hire an executive assistant, a videographer, and a social media coordinator to schedule, shoot, produce, and promote my visits to breweries and pubs across the world. The staff must be British. That would be spot-on. British accents are incredible, offering a definitive competitive advantage in the world of pub talk. My voice sounds more like I’m using a broken drive-thru intercom. Forgive me for slipping in and out of Midwest and British dialect and slang. I’m still adjusting to being back in the states. The UK was smashing, dontcha know.

As you will see from my videos and ratings, my tasting and rating system uses three steps — “A Sniff, A Sip, & A Chug™.” If nothing else, this system offers a lot of comedic relief. It’s not easy to say! I proved that several times on The Bermondsey Beer Mile. The chug is sort of like splitting the G on a Guinness pint glass. It’s a single chug and, per the rules, its length is totally at the discretion of the chugger. Most importantly, one chug floods the palate with flavor, drowning the taste buds in character, and providing a sensory rush big enough to capture the brew’s essence before rating it. Chug it, and Join the Chug Club.

You Have Great Taste

Enjoying life and beer are my goals. You will laugh at me often, while I stumble through these videos. And, once in a while, you might actually laugh with me. My plan is to taste and rate beers, and travel, and visit breweries and bars and pubs and taverns. Breweries are always my first choice — drink local, support local. Small breweries need your support. And your friendly honesty. Remember, even the less-than-amazing beers provide relief to a thirsty brewery patron.

“What is beer? Discuss amongst yourselves while I enjoy a cold one.” – JT

My goal is to NOT answer the dark (or light) secrets of the beer universe. What five hops are in this beer? What exact aromas or hints of flavors are in each beer? If you ever hear me say, “It tastes like a campfire wrapped in a caramel.” Or “It looks like sunset gold with a cloud for a crown.” Be confident the video is a deep fake. Or I’m writing yet another post overflowing with sarcasm.

All, or most, jokes aside, I am 100% in awe of the talents of a Certified Beer Judge or a Certified, Advanced, or Master Cicerone. I considered taking a test years ago. But, even before COVID messed with my senses, I could have never passed the taste or aroma sections of the test. I will, however, endeavor to improve my skills in this area. Possibly with humorous results. The good news… fun with beer is still available to those without these impressive skills.

If you are a casual beer drinker and would like to use a few fun terms to describe your beer, good luck. I meant… don’t ask me… just refer to the handy 50 Beers to 5000 Beer Descriptor Wheel below. See, we will be adding value along the way. Please join the party and sign-up for the 50 Beers to 5000 Chug Club here.

Back to the story…

50 years ago, I had my first beer. That’s not true. It would have offered some timely symmetry, though.

So, what is this 50 Beers to 5000™ concept?

Well, months ago, I logged my 4900th unique beer on UNTAPPD. I don’t log every taste or pint. Come on. That would be a bit extreme, absurd, and (mono)maniacal. And it would be exhausting, especially when attending the Great American Beer Festival (8x attendee) or a local beer festival with 20+ breweries.

Side note, there are a lot of beer aficionados out there that have logged 5,000 to 45,000 beers. Hail to them. I just want to celebrate this tiny, very common, milestone of logging 5000 unique-to-JT beers. And I don’t want to retire. As you will quickly deduce, I desperately need something fun to do to occupy my time and keep me sharp (go ahead, laugh at me now). This idea for a beer log journey just hit me one day, at a brewery, of course. At that very moment, I decided to stop or slow down my logging and create a plan to have some fun with my last 50 beers to 5000 (only Season 1 of the Series). And 50Beersto5000.com was born. The endless list of complementary social media accounts followed shortly thereafter.

After diving into today’s technical world of blogging, I realized that creating a clean, sharp, marketable, professional-looking blog would not be an overnight project, to say the least. I’ve created and maintained several websites, two for breweries. Out of college, I designed worldwide distribution systems for the U.S. government. And later in life, several incredibly cool fantasy sports websites and apps. Yay, me. None of that matters now. To go from good-to-great in today’s blogging world will take a lot of training and continuous research. Excellent, I won’t be bored. More importantly, I won’t feel retired. Let’s launch this b-log, enjoy some great beer, travel to wander-worthy locales, meet fun people with interesting stories, and learn a ton of valuable skills along the way!